As a San Clemente Wedding Photographer, I am fully aware of the importance of having your wedding go the way you dreamed it would. However, the latest buzz in my news feed, in wedding photography Facebook groups, and in my own mind, is this article written by someone at Vogue magazine about all the Rules to Break for your wedding, you can read it HERE. Normally... something like this isn't a bad thing, because it's filled with helpful tips and things to avoid to make your wedding day easier. However, this one was filled with crushing a lot of bride's dreams for the wedding they've been dreaming about since they were a little girl. As a San Clemente Wedding Photographer, I've had a few weddings of my own, and I've second shot a lot as well. I just have to say, Vogue, your list disappoints me. I'm only going to touch on a few of the points from your list, but I think they are all ridiculous!
Here's what I don't understand... why do you care if a bride wants to keep some traditions? If her dream is to have her dad walk her down the aisle, and there's nothing that is actually getting in the way of that, why tell her to skip it? Now, I have seen and read stories about brides walking themselves down, or being walked down by their mother, grandmother, brother, whomever they please and there's typically a reason for them doing that. I've even heard of the groom walking the bride down the aisle. I think if that's what YOU want to do, then do it. It's your wedding, and it's your day. However, to just tell a bride not to do it because it's cliche' is upsetting. You're taking that moment away from the bride-to-be AND her father! These are precious moments, and precious traditions and a stressed out bride doesn't need to read that her wedding will basically be boring if she lets her dad walk her down the aisle. I personally had my father and my step father walk me down, and I wouldn't have changed it for anything.
(These are moments caught of the bride being walked down the aisle by her father and also of the groom "taking over" for dad... you're right, you should totally just skip it (insert eye roll).)
You also told them to skip the rings.... now, rings aren't for everyone, and if you don't want rings, don't buy rings. But, lets be honest, most girls want the ring. They want their husband to wear a ring. They want that visible symbol that says "I'm taken". Not because they are insecure in the relationship, but because they just want that to be known. For some, ring shopping is 1/2 the fun. Let them have it rather then telling them to skip it.
(psh... rings... hideous, just get rid of them)
Next point... Skip the photographer! Are you FREAKING kidding me?! Now, as an San Clemente Wedding Photographer, I completely understand that hiring a photographer is pricey. But you know what... it's worth it. When everything is said and done, the dress is put away, the cake has been eaten, the DJ goes home... all you have left to remember the day is the photographs that were taken. Now, while I think having disposables on the tables for your guests is a great idea, I strongly believe it should be used as an EXTRA, not as your only form of wedding photography. Have you ever used a disposable camera? Have you ever had 1/2 a roll not turn out because of lighting, or blur/motion, or you get 1/2 faces from a drunk attempted selfie?! Not to mention, how many images of the actual bride and groom will you get? Most of them will be of the people at the tables, the guests. Which is great... but when you've paid a few thousand dollars to look as beautiful as you do on your wedding day... don't you want some photographs to look back on... preferably without that awkward face the guest happened to catch you making?! On top of that, I've heard of people not even using the camera, or taking them home with them. Bye-bye wedding pictures.
I'm sorry, I'm not even going to crack a sarcastic joke about this. NONE of these images could have been captured by a random guest and their disposable camera, at the very least, none of them would have turned out this way... sorry, try again!
I had a wedding photographer gifted to me for my wedding. And while I do love my photos, he was only hired to do so much. So when it came time to the finished product, all I received was a CD with the images on it. I would have to order my own album or wall portraits, which 8 years later, I still haven't done. I also didn't hire a videographer, and it's one of my biggest regrets. I had asked my uncle to sing our wedding song for our first dance. He sang and played his guitar. And while I have a FEW photographs of it, I would have loved to be able to re-watch that video. He won't be around forever, and that's a moment I can never get back. These things are important, and I can't stress that enough. I think this is an asinine thing to tell a bride to skip out on it. And considering Vogue is a MAGAZINE that uses PICTURES to sell products or tell a story, you'd think you'd know better and understand the importance and impact of a photograph. Shame on you Vogue.
The big reveal... let them do whatever reveal they please. It's the first time the groom is seeing his bride-to-be in her wedding dress, all dolled up. I have caught, and have seen others catch moments of the grooms face when he sees her for the first time. If you've never watched for it, you should. They cry, they smile from ear to ear, this is a beautiful moment and you shouldn't take it away from either of them.
The big reveal... doesn't have to be at the end of the aisle, but wherever it takes place, it will be wonderful, and it will be a moment you'll both remember forever...BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE PICTURES OF IT!!
Yep... totally skip that first dance.. HOW DULL!
You should probably just skip the father-daughter dance as well... who needs that anyway?
And you're totally right Vogue... those bridesmaids dresses are just God awful! I don't know how they were able to withstand being in them all day.
Unfortunately, the woman that wrote this blog for Vogue comes across like a bitter spinster that is mad her boyfriend of 10 years didn't pop the question on Christmas, or New Years Eve. She also sounds like someone who hasn't experienced a lot of the joy wedding traditions bring. And honestly, it makes me sad to even think that about this woman, because I don't know her. This is only my impression of her. I'm sure she's wonderful. However... maybe try to be a little bit more uplifting, or positive in your next wedding blog? With the impact that Vogue has on newly engaged women, I just find it really sad that they would write something telling women to skip out on tradition. While I believe women are FULLY capable of reading that list and saying "F you, I'm doing what I want anyway", there are some that may start to second guess their decisions. Or wonder "will my wedding be boring if I follow the traditions I've always dreamed of having?!" I just think it would have been better to offer ideas for alternatives, which you did a little bit... but let's be honest, some of them suck... like ditching your photographer. *Shaking my head*
In the end, it's YOUR wedding! Do what makes YOU happy! When it's all said and done, the memories will be yours and your new husbands. Out of all the weddings I've photographed, not a single one has been the exact same as another! Your wedding will be unique to you, because it is YOURS!
If you or someone you know is eloping or having a small intimate wedding, I would love to be considered for your photography needs. Please Contact Me today!